Saudade
by SocialDisease609
Summary: Just an extension of the only Clexa love-scene. Open ending for those who want to keep custom or canon ending.
The soul is in the mind, or is it in the eyes? Is it both, or is it the whole vessel of the human form? Clarke's essence is an enigma, her energy penetrating Lexa's own spirit through everything she did. Her voice, her touch, her glances- all had the power to enchant Lexa. Her heart had never beat so wildly than how it did with Clarke in her life. Even when she had to earn her penance for the Battle of Mount Weather, Clarke's hold was strong and welcomed. If it meant finally holding Clarke in her arms again, Lexa would submit to every desire Wanheda expressed.

 _Love is weakness._

Lexa shook Titus's voice from her mind, and focused on Clarke standing right in front of her. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes, but held her head up high to keep the tears at bay and to stay strong in Clarke's vision. The kill order was to be enforced, and yet again, they had to separate at the edge of their passion. They mutually nurtured their love as subtly as possible, just like their first kiss, but this time is was Lexa who had to painfully watch Clarke walk away.

Clarke leaned in pressed her lips against the Commander's. Lexa did not object and reciprocated tenderly, and then felt Clarke pull away, unable to hide the tear rolling down her cheek. Lexa swore she felt her lip tremble slightly. Pain. Need. Clarke's face shared her feelings, and again, they sank into another kiss, this one more desperate. Every emotion of this departure and all pent up desires from months on edge were combined in this.

Oh God, the touch of her hands. How long had it been since she had been gifted with a lover's touch? Clarke's hands moved in haste, reaching around her neck softly to untie Lexa's top in the matter of a second. If this moment wasn't shrouded of the event of saying a goodbye, Lexa might have slipped in a small joke about how skilled Clarke was at undressing her so quickly. The commander let the garment slip, allowing Clarke the privilege of witnessing her bare skin. But Lexa would waste no time, too, overwhelmed by the passion provided by her lover, and the upcoming departure, broke away from Clarke's lips to scurry the both of them to her bed. Hastily she sat down and reached back up for Clarke, who stopped. Lexa would be lying if she told herself she wasn't worried at that moment. Was Clarke not ready for this level of intimacy? Clarke was silent and was searching in the Commander's eyes. _I consent, make love to me_ , Lexa's thoughts must have translated to their gaze, and Clarke leaned her body forward, leaning in for another kiss, as Lexa, relieved, helped pull them together to lay on the bed.

Clarke delicately climbed on top, securing her right thigh between Lexa's legs and continued to hungrily kiss the woman underneath her. Lexa on the other hand, couldn't feed her hands enough with the caressing of Clarke's skin. She had dreamed countlessly, nights on end, of the feeling of Clarke's bare form. She felt Clarke begin to slowly grind her core against her thigh, and Lexa's hands began to tug at Clarke's top. Hearing Lexa's desires through her touch, Clarke briefly sat up to pull her shirt off over her head. Lexa swallowed hard at the sight of Clarke's exposed breasts, much fuller and perkier than her own. Clarke smiled softly and reached down for one of Lexa's hands and placed it on her breasts. Lexa squeezed her gently, her thumb running over a hardening nipple.

"You're beautiful, Clarke," Lexa said softly. For being the Commander of the 12 Clans, she may had been brave in the face of battle and diplomats, but due to their commander philosophy, Lexa had never really mastered the art of romance, but stating beauty required no charismatic skill.

"So are you," Clarke whispered back, leaning back down to plant kisses on Lexa's neck, nipping gently every other kiss. Lexa focused on breathing, as it felt like this whole experience was stealing the air from her lungs. Her head swam with euphoria, every thought of her clans, her kill order- all the politics…. Everything gone, except for Clarke breathing softly and she caressed Lexa's form. "Let me see all of you?" Clarke asked quietly in her ear. Lexa began to sit up, as Clarke straddled her hips, and removed the rest of her top, looking away from Clarke as she noticed that Clarke was eagerly taking in her form. She leaned forward slightly, and Lexa felt Clarke's feet moving and then heard two thuds hit the floor. "Shoes," Clarke answered, sliding off Lexa to kneel at the bedside. "May I?"

Lexa nodded, watching Clarke unlace her boots, tug them off. Then she ran her hands slowly up Lexa's thighs, and rested her hands at the buttons of her pants.

"Go ahead. Take them off," Lexa said, clearing her throat. Just as hastily as she had untied her top, Clarke had freed all the buttons quickly, and started to yank at the garment, freeing Lexa's legs. Then Clarke began to work on her own pants, excitedly stepping out of them, pulling her socks off, and then slipping out of her underwear. Completely naked, even Wanheda couldn't keep a blush from crossing her cheeks. Lexa shed her last pieces of clothing too, to join Clarke in humans' natural form. "Come back to me," Lexa said breathlessly, reaching a hand out. Clarke took it and let herself be pulled back into Lexa's embrace, as they rolled to their sides, entwining their bare legs together, feeling the warmth of their breasts pressed together as they continued to kiss.

Soon, Clarke's hand trailed down Lexa's stomach and slipped down to her center, feeling dampness. Clarke inhaled shakily and gently rolled Lexa onto her back again and straddled her. She reached her hands down upon Lexa's hips and began to knead them. Lexa leaned her head back in pleasure, as Clarke continued to massage her, loosening her hips, all the way up to her torso, paying special attention to her tender breasts. Lexa felt herself get wetter at her center, and trembled as Clarke's fingers built more ecstasy inside her. Every touch sent a tingling sensation up to her spine, and Lexa couldn't keep the moan in as Clarke's massage made it to her shoulders.

Clarke chuckled at the exclamation of pleasure, "You're very tense." Lexa could only moan in response, as the long lost sensation of being loved flooded every nerve and thought. What she wanted to respond was that this was the most relaxed she had been for a very long time. After a few moments of gently massaging Lexa's neck, Clarke's hands made their way down her stomach, and back to her center, and her fingers sensually rubbed up and down the lips of her sex. Lexa shuddered in anticipation, and her eyes glazed over with desire. Clarke couldn't even keep up the tease for her own sake, as she needed to be inside Lexa as much as Lexa wanted her herself. She pushed in two fingers briskly, eliciting a sharp gasp from her lover, figuring Lexa was wet enough to accommodate the penetration. "You alright?" she asked, gently pushing and pulling her fingers inside Lexa.

Lexa swallowed again, and nodded weakly, the majority of her attention focusing on the sensation of Clarke stroking inside her. She began to subconsciously push her hips up, meeting Clarke's deep presses, enhancing her pleasure. Clarke's own breathing became shallow, as she watched herself love Lexa, making her shiver and cry out. Lexa reached out to wrap her arms around Clarke's neck, pulling her closer, needing to feel Clarke as close to her heart as possible as love was being made to her. Soft moans made their way to Clarke's ears, encouraging her to give Lexa more and more. Enticed by Lexa's erotic expressions of satisfaction, she shifted her posture to allow herself to stroke Lexa's clit simultaneously.

Lexa moaned something in response, all her words lost in her feelings. She trembled as she held onto Clarke, feeling her climax approach. This love from Clarke was so much more than she had anticipated, and it came nothing close to how she imagined it would feel when she would self-pleasure on lonely nights. And then her peak rushed upon her, and she felt herself react around Clarke's fingers, heard herself cry out Clarke's name. Clarke herself trembled in Lexa's embrace and heard her name shakily escape Clarke's lips.

As she came to, her chest heaved up and down in satisfaction, her whole body and mind feeling incredibly light. Clarke waited for a bit, watching Lexa catch her breath. Slyly, Lexa took a moment in her recovery to slip her hand down to Clarke's sex, making Clarke gasp, as she felt the wetness. She sat up and pushed Clarke down on her large bed. Her hands went to caress up Clarke's thighs, gently scratching up and down. She tugged Clarke a little closer by the legs, and instinctually, Clarke pulled her knees up so Lexa could place herself between them.

Without wasting time, Lexa teased a finger inside Clarke, and playfully flicked her tongue against Clarke's clit. Clarke reached down to tangle her fingers in Lexa's braided hair and pressed herself a little bit higher into Lexa's hand. Lexa retreated her hand and pressed her mouth completely against Clarke, and began to taste her, pushing her tongue against her entrance teasingly and stroking her folds, applying pressure the higher up to her clit she got. Clarke's grip in her hair tightened and trembled, as Clarke began to softly grind against Lexa's face. Lexa hooked her arms around Clarke's upper thighs, holding her hips tight as Clarke moaned. Lexa's heart swelled as Clarke openly expressed her pleasure. Lexa had been waiting so long to show Clarke how much she loved her, how much she wanted to please her. How much this consummation meant to her. Lexa couldn't bear to think back on saying goodbye to Clarke without being able to say that she made love to the love of her life.

Clarke's hands tightened even more as a long and deep moan shook out of her mouth, her orgasm seizing her muscles as Lexa continued to lovingly lap at her opening. When Clarke had rode her climax out, Lexa placed a brief kiss on Clarke's sex before ascending back up to Clarke, who sheepishly smiled, exhausted and pleased.

"Let's rest," Clarke said weakly with her smile. She pulled Lexa to her chest in an embrace. After a moment of blissful silence, Clarke whispered, "You know I'm gonna find my way back to you, right?"

Lexa couldn't help but grin herself, no thoughts of danger came to her mind as her training usually did, but thoughts of romance, faithfulness, and devotion filled her conscious. "I'll never let you go, Clarke," Lexa whispered in return. "No matter what world, I'll never let you go."

Clarke's embrace tightened in reciprocation. "I don't want to leave."

"I don't want you to leave, either." Lexa shifted to hold herself above Clarke. "But let's not talk of departures anymore. Let me make love to you one more time…" And with that, Lexa leaned into Clarke for another kiss to continue their love until it was time to dream for their reunion.


End file.
